Jane writes:
A Decision Has Been Made – It’s not what I wanted
I’m in sunny Málaga now and enjoying some of the good things this lovely city has to offer. I’ll be here for the next two weeks and I’m looking forward to what’s on offer at the Málaga Film Festival and visiting some towns nearby.
I’ll be walking and running but I will no longer be training for this year’s London Marathon. I’m sorry to have to tell you that I’ve made the painful and difficult decision to pull out of the London Marathon 2023.
Matter Over Mind
I’ve always been someone who can push through difficulties when the situation calls for doing so. I remember on the 21st of Feb in 2021, I was tired after a fabulous long cycle ride with my friend Roz. When I got home and was settling into relaxing, I looked at my calendar and noticed that I had forgotten a race I had signed up for. It was the last day to run the Virtual Valentine’s 10k. I swore and then ran the 10k, pushing to get it done. It wasn’t a PB but it was my second fastest at that time. Last autumn, I forced myself to run the NYC Marathon even though I had been ill in bed for most of the five previous days. I got the medal!
Other times when I’m running, I can look at my watch and realise that I’ve slowed down – usually due to day dreaming! I say a few words to myself like ‘come on, get going’ or ‘get a move on you slow-poke’ and I do just that. It’s mind over matter and in an odd way, I have enjoyed being able to reach to the depths of my body and soul in order to go faster, longer and better. Mind over matter worked beautifully for me until it stopped.
Some of you know that a physio diagnosed me with lumbar spinal stenosis which causes severe and painful sciatica in my legs. The report on my full spinal MRI is not going to come in until the end of March.
The Realities – Getting Worse and No Fun At All
My long runs have been getting more and more difficult. I slow down and I can’t force myself to go faster or run longer. My legs feel like heavy logs and no amount of stretching or massages help. This problem started at the beginning of October last year but it’s been getting gradually worse, not better. This is true despite the considerable effort I’ve put into getting stronger.
I usually think that I can tweak my training or strength train my way out of problems. However, nothing is moving me forward this time. I’m going backwards. Paul Thomas helpfully suggested that I try walk/running. I did that, running six minutes and walking two for this past Saturday’s long run of 20k, which followed parkrun so 25k in total. I stuck to Gunnersbury Park as I thought if I left the park, I would stop moving all together! It was a huge, tough challenge and I had to take a few breaks just to finish. In short, it wasn’t fun at all.
It’s not just this run that has brought me to the conclusion that I need to pull out. It’s the gradual decline in my physical health over the last 4 months and in particular, the last 4 long runs I’ve done. Almost all of them have left me exhausted, finishing short of the goal distance, feeling unhappy and completely spent. I need to quit the marathon attempt, for now.
Photo of me at parkrun courtesy of Melissah Gibson.
What I really need now is to pull out of running London 2024 in time to allow Anna Shierson to take my place. I need to get some medical advice and answers based on my MRI. I’ll keep running but on a much more moderate scale. It’s a difficult decision but it’s practical and positive too. Oh, and I’m sticking to my pull up goal as well!
Many thanks to all of my wonderful running friends. I’ve been knocked down, but I’ll get up again, you can be sure! I hope to see you all at parkrun and a couple of shorter races in the coming months. Cheers!