[Don’t] Believe the Hype / St Anger

Craig Batterham writes:

The London Marathon certainly does deliver on all the hype. It is an incredible race with huge crowds supporting every runner as they navigate the course. The noise was deafening at times throughout the course, people lined the streets out to Woolwich and back to Greenwich. The depth and volume of the crowds around the Cutty Sark was merely a taste of what was to come but already more than I have experienced in any race before. Tower Bridge was an incredible experience, Canary Wharf rang with voices echoing off the glass and stone monoliths and Tower Hill through Embankment and onto Birdcage walk exceeded all of my expectations with an ear piercing wall of sound. The Eagles cheer squad at mile 23 was a massive boost, to see so many faces you know shouting your name and urging you on really does make the difference. If only this hadn’t ended up being a Personal Worst and my least favourite race of all the ones I’ve run to date.

Let’s start with what went right.

The biggest unknown for me was the expo, and I’d left it until the Saturday to go and get my number. After reading emails about getting there earlier in the week because it gets busy I was expecting long queues with a lot of international runners on that day. When I got there though it wasn’t busy at all, I was early but not that early. They are just very well organised I think. Many years of practice.

The next step was to get my name printed on the Eagles vest. There had to be a queue here, surely. Nope, straight through. CRAIG printed in big bold black letters across my chest. I know how much of a boost it can be when you hear your name and you couldn’t miss mine now! This all left me with a lot of spare time, this whole process hadn’t taken me anywhere near as long as I had thought it would so I had a mooch around the exhibitors. Naturally that meant I ended up buying stuff and I was glad I’d only taken a small bag! I chilled with a coffee and watched a couple of the talks and then headed home to do my flat lay.

I’d agreed to go out and have some pasta with a friend who was also running on the Sunday so we met in Pizza Express in Notting Hill and caught up on our different training plans, how we felt, what our goals were. All very relaxed. Well, I was, he was a little caught up in the occasion, this was only his third time at any race so the non-running stuff that comes with all of this was playing on his mind. When I met him again in the red holding area at the start he hadn’t slept much at all and was very tired from a lot of stuff going round in his head. Conversely, I had slept soundly all night and only woke five minutes before the alarm was due to go off. I’m up at 5am everyday so a 4am alarm for today was not a big stretch.

Showered, porridge eaten, some paracetamol and Imodium, final bits packed, I left for the 30-40 minute walk to Ealing Green to meet all of the other eagles getting the coach up to Blackheath. Another stress I didn’t have to worry about. No traveling with the crowds on the tube or DLR, no walk up the hill to get to the holding pen. A quiet time on the coach with my own thoughts, smiling at the amount of other coaches on the road all heading in the same direction taking their running groups to the start.

I’ve done a lot of race villages of all different types and sizes so was prepared practically and mentally. I knew there was going to be a wait for a few hours so after a group photo before the eagles split up I headed to the red holding area with Sada. A combination of experience and the advice from Rachel’s last blog meant I was well prepared. The clear plastic race bag was already packed with everything I would need at the end, I had an extra little bag for the holding area with the black bin bags, toilet roll and the gels. My phone and bank card was already stowed in my race belt.

Bumping into my friend from the night before we found a spot to sit together for a bit while we waited to get the call to head to our start wave holding area. For me it was a peaceful couple of hours, I had no nerves, no anxiety. Not even the rain could dampen my spirits at that point, I was just wanting to get started. The black bags came in very useful (thanks Rachel) and kept me dry and comfortable enough in the light drizzle to not be damp at the start. All of my toilet visits complete I finished the Imodium and headed for the start of Wave 9.

The way the whole process of the start was organised was slick, really well done and managed. During the slow march to the start line I discarded the last of my warm layers in the clothing drop for donation to charity and got ready to start. I would leave the headphones off for now and enjoy the start of the race and the support from those lining the road. I didn’t use them at all for the entire race.

My watch alerted my to the 1k mark and I checked in with how I was feeling. Cardio and breathing were much easier that any time I can remember in the last few weeks at this same stage! Hang on, why is my knee not hurting and calf not already tight?!? 🤷🏻‍♂️ I felt better than I could ever recall feeling in the first kilometre of a run. I think my pace registered as 6.12/km which was probably a little fast. Was it? Not sure. I didn’t run to a pace in training and my brain doesn’t do maths while I’m running. I slowed it anyway, I was sure the event was carrying me away a little, but damn I felt good. The cheers from the sides of the road and people calling me name naturally resulted in a big smile spreading across my face.

I knew I had a friend waiting at the 1 mile marker so as I approached I was scanning the people on the pavements until I heard the cry “Craigy!” Lucie ran out onto the course and ran alongside me for a few hundred meters for a quick chat and some selfies.

I was in the race now, I’d checked in with my body and seen the first person who told me where they would be. My mind turned toward the miles to come and I mentally started to chunk it down. This wasn’t a part of London I had run, or even walked, so linking up the landmarks in my head wasn’t too easy, so chunk one was here to the Cutty Sark, that’s 10k. Easy at this point in the race. Well, that’s until you get to Surrey Quays which seems to go on for ever and ever. Next chunk, Tower Bridge and the halfway point.

The noise, music and cheers along the whole route had been fantastic so far, the support for all the runners was incredible, the energy was tangible. The Cutty Sark and Tower Bridge were another level. As I drew closer to these landmarks the crowds at the side of the road deepened and the volume was turned up to 11. It was a great feeling running through the throng, feeding off their energy, being lifted by their support. It was truely an incredible experience, one that will always make this a unique race for me.

Leaving Tower Bridge behind and hanging a right towards Canary Wharf I was back on roads I had run before, bits of London I knew better than those we had just come through. Checked in, feeling good. Breathing and heart rate all good, nice and controlled. Legs feeling a little tired but nothing I wouldn’t be able to deal with, no aches, no pains. The knee, the calf? Both felt great. Those pains I had worked through in the weeks before a distant memory. Were they even real or just psychosomatic? I had the calf in its usual compression sleeve but I hadn’t even heard a murmur of complaint from it for the last 20+ kilometres. 🤷🏻‍♂️

We all turned south heading to the end of the Isle of Dags and the wheels came off. My stomach started cramping up badly shortly after taking a gel, at first I gritted my teeth, doubled down and tried to push through to the other side of what ever this was. I had trained with these gels all through my training, I was confident in my fuelling strategy, it would sort itself quickly. There was no improvement though and as we came back up towards Canary Wharf where the crowds were going to be bigger I was very conscious I didn’t want to become a meme and dropped to a run walk. I was a few kilometres over the halfway point and had slowed to a walk, I had just failed my ‘A’ goal. This was a mentally tough point, internally I was kicking and berating myself. I’d had that goal in mind since April ‘22 after finishing Manchester Marathon. I was on the hunt for the toilets all the way through the Wharf.

As we left the crowds and towers of commerce behind I spotted the toilets at the side of the road heading into Poplar. A quick stop there then straight back out on the course. I could still hit my ‘B’ goal and beat my Manchester time. Legs were stiff now, muscles were slower to respond and it took a little while to get back into the rhythm of running. Mentally I had already lost at this point. My thoughts had all turned negative and I knew the smile I had been wearing on my face for the whole of the first half was laying somewhere on the side of the road in Canary Wharf. Tower Hill was coming up and it was literally all down hill from there, just need to grind this out.

As I crested Tower Hill a small smile crept back across my face. I was overtaking people on a hill and my mind went back a few weeks before when I ran the London Landmarks Half, the atmosphere along the same route on that day had been incredible, electric,  what was it going to be like for the London Marathon? The Eagles cheer squad was just down the road!

F**k! What was that! I limped to a walk holding my left hamstring. A sharp pain had stabbed right into the bottom of the muscle. All through training it’s been the chain of muscles in my right leg that has caused the problems. The knee has been the main culprit that made the calf, thigh and glute tight all the way up. Never any issues with the left?!? This pain wasn’t something I’d had before, it was sharp, piercing. The usual dull aches and general soreness I would run through and come out the other side when my mind decided it should be registering something else. This was different. I walked the crest of the hill and fell back into a tentative run again. All good, just tired muscles it seems.

In the last video call with Jenny she had shown me where the cheer squad would be on street view, I knew the area well from my photography days. I could see the foot bridge across the road from where I was, it all meant there was just a little over three miles to the finish! Ping! Hamstring went again and for a second time I hobbled to a walk. More than just tired muscles? I walked a little and then the Eagle’s flag came into view. I had to run past this point. I gritted my teeth and started up the run again and it was all good to begin with, as I got to the line of familiar faces in the crowd all cheering I dug deep and found everything I could to keep smiling, to keep running, push any discomfort down and out of my mind. In truth I was working out when I could walk again and rest this damn pain.

My marathon was well and truly done at this point. It was a run when I could, walk when it hurt finish. Nursing my hamstring the rest of the way. Very aware that I have other stuff planned for the coming months and I didn’t want to have another summer off running like last year I was careful not to exacerbate whatever this was.

I began to regret having had my name printed on my vest. The shouts of encouragement, “You’ve got this Craig!” began to have the opposite effect, sounding more like taunts to the twisted thoughts inside my head. I didn’t have this, I’d already lost this. As I rounded the end of Birdcage Walk onto The Mall I saw Peter heading for the finish, easily recognisable in his West Ham top. This lifted me, a small spring of joy bubbled inwardly at the friendly face. I have bumped into him so many times on these races, the first time being at the Manchester Marathon, and he was the first Eagle I had seen on the course all day.

After exchanging a few words I headed off towards the finish line, very aware that there were going to be a lot of photographers here, maybe even TV cameras my family might be watching. I can’t walk here. Once again I bit down and ran through the pain in my hamstring trying to keep everything as gentle and light as I could. I crossed the line but I wasn’t happy. It hadn’t gone my way today,  as I joined the line to pick up my medal I considered how I’d done against the goals I had in my mind before the run.

⁃             Run 100% of the race ❌

⁃             Get close to 4hr 30min ❌

⁃             Have fun ❌

It was closing in on 5pm by the time I had collected my bag, downed the water, had a snack and changed into dry clothes. I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate and all my legs wanted was for me to lay down for a bit. So I decided against trying to get to Waterloo and the pub to meet the other Eagles and instead shuffled to Green Park.

The next day was back to work, legs were a little stiff, stairs were difficult. Nowhere near what they should have been though, I’d run a half marathon and then walked for a bit essentially. The hardest things to deal with immediately after were the disappointment and anger I felt towards myself. It was going to take me time to process this and come to understand and accept what had happened Sunday. I started this blog on Monday morning and now it’s Friday. Writing this has certainly helped but there is a little more for me to work on to come to terms with this outcome.

Monday evening I got an email from the organiser of the next big race asking to confirm address details. In the link were also extras that could be purchased, one of these was a deferment. I was so close to pressing that button on Monday night but managed to leave it. Slept on it. Tuesday morning I booked the train and accommodation for the event, I didn’t back out. Wednesday was my first run since the marathon and I joined the club run. It was good to chat and run with friendly faces and it wasn’t too tough, I didn’t hate it.

So where do I think it went wrong? There is one glaring difference between almost everything I have done in training to what I did on the day. Take the Imodium. In the 22 months I have been running I have never used it, never had to. Except for one Sunday where I’d been out for a burger and AF beer the Friday before and had a bit of a close call on the long run. That must have been playing on my mind to make me add it into my plan on the day. My diet on the run up to the big day and on the day itself was good. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. I’ve talked it through with others and they seem to arrive at the same conclusions. This is the likely cause of the cramping up I got in Canary Wharf. The hamstring? No idea, but there is no lasting damage which is what matters to me right now.

London was always a one-and-done for me. I have no intention of running it again, there are too many other challenges out there for me to fixate on this one race or consider it unfinished business. This will always feel like a wasted opportunity, even a wasted club place when others could have run this better than me. I’ve had several days to process this all now and know this is irrational, my anger with myself has subsided and I need to build on what has happened, there is no going back to change it. The photos in this blog will become my ‘Before’ photos, ones to compare how far I have traveled when I am further along in the running journey. Another email I received from Abbott on Thursday cemented this in my mind, this is just the base of the pyramid.

 “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure”. Abraham Lincoln

The Last Leg

Craig Batterham writes:

Welcome to the shit show

The week started off really well. Monday night’s club run was more comfortable than any recent Monday run in a long while. Tuesday was a full day traveling back and forth to Paris for work which left me stiff and in need of a stretch and run so I was perversely looking forward to the 1k intervals that were scheduled for Wednesday. However, that morning I got two letters (I never get mail) one from the TSB with a new debit card and welcoming me to my new account and one from HSBC letting me know I’d been turned down for an account as I hadn’t provided the necessary identification. A quick check on Equifax sure enough showed a seemingly endless list of credit checks against my name and address.

So I have been on hold, to various banks, credit card companies and Action Fraud getting a crime reference number. It isn’t until you have to do this over and over again you truly understand how awful the phone systems are across the board. It took two days to sort out everything (I hope) and there was still a day job I had to get done which meant I missed two sessions! Not happy.

The run in

So I didn’t end up missing too much the session planned for Thursday was bumped to Friday where I did the Gunnersbury Parkrun route after work which turned out to be as tough as Monday runs seem to have become. The stress of the days before, running after a day at work with little rest and poor fuelling meant I wasn’t in the right mind set for this. Forgetting the calf compression also didn’t help and I had an awful run. All parts of my legs were screaming at me, my heart and lungs hurt. Shouldn’t everything be feeling easier now? If I’m in the taper then surely 5k should feel like a literal walk in the park! What was the rest of this slide in to the marathon feel like?

Saturday morning I was up bright and early. For the first time in a long time the training lined up with a Runthrough race, just about, and I was off to have a little run around Battersea Park. Jenny had me down for 1.5k warm up with a 5k effort at RPE6 (as I don’t have a pace I’m targeting) and a 1.5k cool down. If I tacked on 1k to the warm up and cool down it would fit into the 10k race nicely. So at half nine on Saturday morning I was stood to one side watching the 10k start group trot across the start line and I join the back of the pack. Immediately the usual pains and complaints from the body presented themselves making me question why I was doing this and consider what point in the run I could walk for a bit. I held an easy pace and slowly picked my way through other runners for the first lap. As the second lap started my watch beeped and told me to run, I straighten my back, lifted myself up and picked up the pace. I began targeting runners ahead and worked on closing the gap and passing them for the next two laps. It felt good, I wasn’t quite in the flow but I was enjoying the feeling of having to work for it. The heart beat a little faster, the breathing was a little harder, but never difficult.

As the third lap ended my watch beeped once again and told me to cool down, so I dutifully dropped the pace back down and enjoyed the jog back round to the finish line being complimented on my coordinated outfit by one spectator on the home straight. It was only 10k, half of that easy and half at effort, it still felt tough at the end though. Every run does and I’ve come to realise that it all relative. Regardless of distance it always feels the same at the end, it must be a mental thing. If I know I’m running a 5k it feels the same as it I had just run 21.1k and, I’m hoping this is exactly the same as 42.4k on Sunday.

The term long run doesn’t really seem to apply to 16k anymore, but that was Sunday’s plan. The idea was to get up early and run down to Hyde Park via Chiswick, Hammersmith and South Ken. Back through Notting Hill, Holland Park and Down to Turnham Green. It didn’t end up being as early as I’d wanted though, didn’t sleep too well the night before so took a little bit longer getting out of bed. When I set off though I felt great. Nothing hurt, the legs felt better than they have for a long time and the breathing was gentle. My watch told me I was running a little faster than I wanted so held myself back a bit, good practice for the start line next week. Thankfully it was early enough for the pavements to be quiet as I closed on Hyde Park. I cut through the middle of the park to keep it at 16k and from then on it was all down hill. I finished up back at home and felt great, I just hope I feel great at the end of next week.

Victory lap

That’s pretty much it now. I have the short club run for an easy 5k on Monday evening, rest on Tuesday, fartlek at track on Wednesday and then an easy 8k run home after work on Thursday. All done. Just the matter of the Sunday long run to get to the end of.

The training for this marathon started at the beginning of the year. Since then I have run 81 times, spent 90hrs running covering over 800km (500 miles). There have been some very high highs and some very low lows. I have practiced how to eat and drink before and whilst running, how and when to go to the toilet or not as the case may be. I’ve written 18 blogs which took a little while to get comfortable with but once I was in the flow they have become very cathartic and helped me look back and understand a lot about myself. Have helped deal with the emotional and mental challenges a training block like this has. I hope you have enjoyed reading them, maybe seen a little of yourselves in them.

My race kit is all arranged and put to one side, my warm, charity donation, clothing is ready. The SiS gels and Caffeine bullets are in stock and the new shoes have a few miles in them. I’m off to the expo for the Saturday to pick up my number and get my name printed onto the Eagles vest and then I’m all done.

The hard work is behind me. All that remains is to get on the Eagles coach on Sunday morning and run my Victory Lap in front of the cheering crowds of people.

The beginning of the end is the end of the beginning

Craig Batterham writes:

Time is short now, there are just a few of these blogs left. Coming up next week will be penultimate episode which sees the stories protagonist start to pull the threads together, answer some of the questions raised in the previous episodes and begin to neatly tie all these threads together in preparation of the grand finale. Will this story end happily? You only need to hang on for a little while longer to find out. This episode, however, needs to set up the holiday special and Season Two of the blog with something left field, preparing the reader for a new journey, my next big challenge. Hopefully the story line will be stronger than Game of Thrones was.

I’m a binge eater. I didn’t even know this was a thing until the end of last year when I joined an ex-girlfriend’s sister at a board game evening with her flatmate when she was staying in Chiswick. Both were therapists, one working with offenders in prison the other specialising in binge eating. Intrigued, I later watched a few of her YouTube videos and recognised so much of my own behaviour it scared me to the point of denial. I wasn’t ready to consider that what I had thought normal for so long were the symptoms of an eating disorder.

All my focus has been on the running. Working with Jenny on the training set out in Training Peaks and smashing them as best I can. In the background though my newfound knowledge has been negatively impacting my habits, which have gotten worse if anything. Maybe I should have seen this coming far earlier. When I smoked, I would binge, when I drank, I would binge, I was so conscious of this behaviour that I stayed well away from drugs when I was younger and had easy access to them. I already knew how that would end! When I started running less than two years ago, I binged. It doesn’t seem to matter what it is if I enjoy it then I’m all in.

Right now I think I am the heaviest (and fastest) I have been since starting the running and I am very clear I’m my mind that the discomfort I get in my knee from the OA is exasperated by the additional impact stress put on it, but it has always been my weight to carry and right now I can carry this body for a lot further than I used to be able to. I have every confidence in the fitness I have built around this and the work I have put in to get where I am now. At the same time, I am aware that there is another huge battle I need to start to fight, start to win. Without fighting this battle there is no real way I am going to be able to reach my goals in the next 24-30 months.

When I was much younger, I used to lift, a lot. My diet then was tailored to my needs, and I got big. I put on a lot of muscle and within a few years I was lifting heavy and struggling to find clothes that fitted properly. There was none of this ‘muscle cut’ t-shirts back then. When I landed in hospital with the very acute symptoms of metabolic syndrome, I started a diet that allowed me to reverse most of the damage and put my diabetes into remission in ten months. In those instances, I worked to plans, I recorded the metrics and treated it almost like a game, a challenge. I could see small incremental differences throughout my life then. I need to find the same now. I need a sports nutritionist to join my team, to help me turn this into a game. To identify goals and then split out the steps that need to be taken to get there. I think I’ve found one and they will hopefully play as big a part in season two of this story as Jenny has and will continue to.

So, what’s coming? When my journey to London comes to a close, I’ll start publishing this blog elsewhere. I’ve enjoyed it, it’s been very useful to me personally all the way through this training. It took a little while to get comfortable with it, to have content I felt was interesting enough or I was brave enough to share. This really is just the end of the beginning. Whatever the outcome of this story there will be reflection and analysis before a switch in training to get ready for an even longer distance a few short weeks after the marathon. That will be the Holiday Special. Then I get to do all of this again, another marathon training block to get ready for November. There will be a goal then though, more definite than the ephemeral ‘enjoy it and run the whole thing’ I have for London. After that? I have plans that take me beyond 2025 right now, so there will hopefully be something to read for those that do want to continue to follow this journey of mine.

My training during the week has started to feel much more like a taper now. Even Monday’s club run felt easier than it has for the weeks that came before. I dropped the planned interval session in favour of the Sports Psychology Zoom presentation Jenny had arranged, had a great time at Parkrun on Saturday catching up with Eagles getting ready for Boston and Manchester the very next weekend and others on the same journey as me on the way to London. The week ended on a high exploring the green spaces and routes west of Ealing, not somewhere I had ventured before and in the spring sun it was a beautiful way to spend Easter Sunday.

I wasn’t ready for the shit show that was about to come.

Lessons not yet learned

Craig Batterham wrote on 5 April:

To finish up last week, before the team at work lost some members to holidays, I arranged a few beers on Friday after work. I don’t drink anymore and have pretty much stopped going to the pub at any time but thought it was important for the team after a few intense weeks/months. There are plenty of good low/no alcohol beers on the market but pubs seem to still be catching up with this trend and my only options here were larger substitutes, and larger was never my tipple. Illogically I had a bottle of the AF larger for every round the group had. When is there ever an instance, sitting with friends, that we drink water, juice or soft drinks when as soon as someone’s glass is empty someone is at the bar refilling everyone? 🤷🏻‍♂️

So Saturday morning I woke gassy and bloated and didn’t feel great, the 10k around Kew was the last thing I was looking to do at tempo. So I was glad to bump into a flock of eagles when I got there to keep my mind off the grumblings and discomfort. This would be the second Friday night in close proximity that would impact my running the next day for absolutely no reason.

The race got underway and the first couple of kilometres felt harder than usual, I’d started slow and decided to make it a progression run before we set off so I consciously put a little more pace in each time my 1k alert went off on the watch. I didn’t do too bad either, apart from the muddy wet bit where people slowed to a stop to walk single file around the puddles. My trainers from the week before were wrecked and I didn’t want to ruin the Vapourflys. I was happy when it finished though and started looking forward to an easier run on Sunday.

As I was on the tube to Green Park the next morning I was excited to be running around the closed roads of London again. I was wearing the kit I was planning on wearing in three weeks to test it all out, check the settings and alerts I’d dialled into the watch, how I was going to manage water stations, reacquaint myself to running in a crowd of people and build the mantras and tools I would use in the psychological battle running twice this distance would surely throw at me. The London Landmarks Half Marathon gave me the final chance to practice the racing.

I’ve had so much practice with race villages and bag drops now that I amble through these on autopilot and head for my start pen, I’m in wave five and they had just released wave one as I got there. The usual apprehension settled over me, was I sure that I was going to be able to run ALL of this half marathon? Should I have thought of some kind of Jeffing strategy? 21.1km was a long way, was I sure I could make it? Even though I had just spent the last seven weeks completing distances greater than this with half marathons for my cut-back weeks failure was still the most prevalent thought in my head. I go through my little pre-race routine as others do the same around me, mine involving little bounces on my toes and focusing inwards. Others around stretch, chat and take selfies and photos of the throng of people between us and the starting arch. I stand and watch them all do the warm up led by a guy on a platform wondering if I should one day do the same but dismiss this thought as there is still 20-30 minutes before we are set off. Something to do with a donkey and a man carrying a cross for Palm Sunday.

Todays run is an easy one, so I had it in mind to stick with the 2:10 pacer until she started playing music from her portable speaker, then I realised I had to get away from her as soon as I could. I love running with music, but my choice of music, not what she was playing. In the end I settled into a pace around 6min/km. Too fast I was thinking right from the start, I feel great though. Especially compared to the run in Kew the day before. If I pushed this a little I should easily get a new PB.

No, the main event is in three weeks, this is a training run! Back off.

So on and off throughout the race I had to keep pulling myself back a bit. Keep it steady and enjoy the run. The supporters out on the course were fantastic, there were hundreds of them cheering, shouting the names of people they didn’t know that was across our bibs giving that boost to the runners. There were very few places along the route where there weren’t many spectators, I don’t think I have been in a race with so much noise and cheering and it had an incredible effect of lifting higher and higher as the race wore on. Mile marker after mile marker disappeared behind me and my mind still flip-flopped between wanting to walk and keeping on running. “You will want to stop…………don’t.”

Tower Hill to me represented the start of the home straight, so as I positively felt like I was bouncing up the hill passing other runners struggling all thoughts of failure dissolved away. Coming on to Embankment I imagined myself here in three weeks time. The crowds at the side of the road began to get deeper, louder. The running became easier. Temple station was followed by embankment station which gave way to charity cheer squads lining the road cheering extra loud anytime someone with their vest on was running past. A loop over Westminster bridge and past the hospital I had spent a couple of weeks in at the end of 2020 then back onto Embankment to Whitehall.

As I rounded the corner of the Old War Office into the finishing straight I was hit by the wall of noise from the crowds cheering and shouting at the top of their voices! The banging of fists against the advertising boards either side drove through me, physically lifting my head, shoulders, spirit. I could feel a huge grin on my face and ran as hard as I could towards the line basking in the energy the crowd was giving off. Someone shouted “Go Eagles!” to my left as I closed in on the line. If this was a reflection of what it would be like in three weeks time then I knew I was in for an incredible day.

Walking back to the bag drop busses I noticed, with some twisted satisfaction, how other runners were struggling to go up or down the steps, even simply walking, recalling how that used to me very much me. Right now though I felt like I could get another lap in. This weekend was so very different to the last one.

Monday evening was the coaches meeting so I would have to skip the club run and do an easy run home from work, which felt anything but easy which very much grounded me again with niggly little doubts. I’m finishing this blog off on the Wednesday morning though, which provides perspective after a rest day. Trust the process, focus on the journey and not the destination.

Let’s talk race photos. Both races this weekend had professional photographers at the events that wanted to sell you the pack of images of yourself out on the course, collecting the medal or with some of the volunteers in fancy dress. There is usually a discount before the event which changes back to full price very shortly after. In the case of the LLHM this switch to the higher price came in before all of the images had been processed so you didn’t know what you were buying! There are rarely more than 2-3 images from these packs that I like of myself and I don’t want to be paying out what amounts to £10 a photo, and in the case of the ASICS 10k last year, someone else’s video! I want images from these races though, it’s a memory, a record of progression and having been a very keen photographer before running consumed most of my time and I lost my dark room I know they need to be paid for their time and skills. Not easy when the only tangible element from the time spent capturing and processing the images may only equate to a handful of images.

 I’d much rather have a small amount added to the race entry though and you get all of the images for free. This would likely only be a couple of quid.

 I’d love to know other peoples opinions on this one.

Never have I ever…

Craig Batterham writes:

…had a bucket list. Even if I had one in the past that I’ve forgotten running a marathon certainly wasn’t on it. I think I’m yet to see a runner looking like they were enjoying themselves except for the finish straight or as they cross the line. Nope, that wasn’t for me. In place of a bucket list I’ve had impulsive thoughts that come from seemingly nowhere that I randomly act on. One August day in 2014 I was waiting for a train to go and meet my brother just down the line and join him walking the dogs. While I was waiting for the train I googled climbing Kilimanjaro and in less time than it took for the train to pull up I had booked to join a group of people I’d never met summit the roof of Africa in July of 2015.

When I started running it was to find a new challenge, something else I could use to help keep diabetes in remission. Initially it was just do the couch to 5k. That ended up being 10k when the app was the same price as the 5k. Twice as far for the same price? Bargain! Somewhere in those first few days I thought it’d be good to try a half marathon for my birthday so I entered Fix Events Winter Richmond Park Half. Didn’t like it much. However, left alone with my thoughts over Christmas I decided it’d be ‘fun’ to run a half marathon every month, get my first marathon in before I got to the 12 month anniversary of my running and squeeze in an Ultra before the end of 2022. I also went and got my LiRF qualification in January so I could play a little part in the club that had become a big part of my running life.

I went along to the Eagle’s AGM that year because I was interested in seeing the process and what it was all about and watched the draw for the names for the London Marathon. When I checked the website later that evening I found that to get a place in the draw you needed to earn points through a variety of club related activities. 18 was the target to get your name into the hat, 30 was the maximum number you could possible get. Challenge accepted, I was going to get all 30 points. It was nothing to do with getting a place for the LM, it was completing the challenge of collecting each point, so I drew up a little table and planned out what I’d need to run. The painful discovery of osteoarthritis in my right knee meant that I missed four of the races in Summer League and the Wedding Day 7k which eventually cost me 2 points. So when my name was announced for the automatic place at the Christmas party it was a genuine surprise. Now, in my head at least, I am on the road to running all of the Majors and already booked on to the New York marathon.

Earning one of the club places has given me extra motivation to work through the training plan and complete all of the sessions I can get out there and get done. There have been plenty of times when my internal thoughts suggest I cut a run short or skip some of the intervals, but simply knowing that every run is transparent on Strava for people to see keeps me honest to myself. Doubly so when I know that Jenny will be looking at the metrics and commenting and responding to my notes from the run.

Having to write these blogs as part of the deal has also proved very cathartic in being as open as I can about how I’m feeling and what my personal journey through all of this has been. I keep hearing Nick’s words to me at the Christmas party, “…make it interesting.” I hope I have. I hope that you have been able to relate to some of the content and maybe seen some of what you have been through in your own running, training for a big race or not.

There can only be a handful of these blogs left now, the big day is fast approaching and my duty to write them for the club will be over. I’ll keep it going somewhere else though as I still have quite a journey ahead of me and I do enjoy reading blogs written by other Eagles, either for the marathon or their own personal ones. It’ll also be a great way to communicate how I’m feeling during the training with Jenny that would otherwise get missed in a phone call or a post session note on Training Peaks.

It’s only been a few days since I wrote the last blog so training wise I don’t have much to say other than it doesn’t feel like a taper yet, at least not how I had imagined it. The weekend ahead (just gone by the time this is published) has a 10k in Kew Gardens as a tempo run and then London Landmarks Half Marathon on Sunday. Once I have run that then I can only think of one more closed road race through London I haven’t done yet. 🤔

It’s all downhill from here

Craig Batterham writes:

So that’s it, the longest run or the programme done. Well, almost. This week saw the culmination of the build-up in distance with a 20 mile run at the Richmond Riverside 20 which proved to be much more of a mental challenge than I was expecting. I went into it feeling good, on Saturday I was looking forward to it but I hadn’t quite appreciated the weather or the surface then. By the time I got to kilometre 28 I was done with the hard uneven ground and the deep wide puddles along the side of Kew and slowed to a walk in places to pick my way around the obstacles rather than run through them. Add to that the post code for the start that was in the wrong place and thanks to Trevor, another lost runner who drove me around leading a little convoy of lost runners in cars to find the right place. Then at the end, no medal?!? I do love a medal. When I’d finished I really felt like I should have left this and run solo on my own route. I think next time I will.

The earlier part of the week had been all about managing the knee and preventing a flare up. So after a club run on Monday I followed it up with an intervals session on the treadmill to lessen the impact and then jacked in Friday’s planned run entirely. So by the time I got to Sunday there was no pain or sign of my OA at all and that part of me was very comfortable during the run.

Ever since completing those long wet miles the training has, emotionally, felt different. Looking back now the language I had used to describe the Kingston Spring Raceday and the Richmond Riverside 20 to myself internally and to others when asked how training was going had built these up as the final hurdle, a chore, the top of the mountain I have been climbing since January. The club run on Monday felt great. Legs felt weirdly fresh, there were no aches or muscle soreness at all. As if a switch had been flicked over somewhere.

So now I find myself at the start of the taper, everything ahead of me is a little less than before. Not a lot less to be fair, but enough to allow me to wholeheartedly look forward to the sessions again. I’ll be honest, there have been some days these last 2-3 weeks where I really CBF but somehow managed to get out and get it done. Any exercise I have dropped or changed has been for a real reason, usually centred around the management of the OA. I do not feel disappointed in any of those choices in the same way I have done in the past when I sometimes feel like I gave myself excuses. 

As I write this there are just 25 days left to go with 18 days of running and I know I am ready for this. Now I just need to wrap it all up neatly and enjoy the taper.

The Little Wins

Craig Batterham writes:

It’s fair to say that the last two or three weeks have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, of learning and self realisation, of discomfort and pain, and I have tried to record this in my blogs. Whoever came up with the idea for these was a genius, it gives us lucky few who got a ballot place, a chance to reflect and share (probably overshare at times) but yesterday I was told by one reader that they were very relatable. I guess that for those of us on the same path, same targets, the training is similar so the impacts and effects must have similarities.

This last week’s training hasn’t gotten any easier or any less eventful. Monday’s club run was tough. After Sunday’s 31km my legs were super tired, my breathing was laboured and the whole loop felt like a chore. I need to apologise to AJ who started running with me trying to spark a conversation which I just could not reciprocate. Trying to answer questions and be part of the discussion was not helping how I was feeling. Chatty runs just aren’t for me right now.

Tuesday was easy enough, S&C in the gym which is 90s away so I really have no excuses for not going any more. Hills was the plan Jenny had in Training Peaks for me on Wednesday but a late running meeting and the tube strikes scuppered that idea so it was back in the gym and replicate the intervals as a HIIT session on the rowing machine, maybe the treadmill would have been a more appropriate choice but I’m new to this gym and their equipment and my brain function wasn’t there to try and figure out how to work hills on to these machines.

Thursday was a rest day, and that’s exactly what I did. I used it to sort out the details for the Kingston Spring Raceday I had entered. Sort out what I wanted to be wearing, make sure it was washed and ready, plan the trip there and work out what time I needed to be up so I could fuel and be ready on the day. So far so good, the week had been eventful but no knocks in confidence yet, no new pains, no more tired than the week before. Then Friday’s interval session put paid to that. It’d been one of those long weeks at work, the kind when you are glad to get it over with and get out the door to start the weekend. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected it to go well, maybe I’d have been better to go home, take an hour or so to relax and then do the session but I headed straight out of work into Hyde Park.

The session was a 4k-2.5k-1.5k with 2min easy between the intervals so I was just going to use the route Runthrough use for their races seeing as I was familiar with it. I did a little 1.5k warm up and felt awful, took a little pause at the bandstand to stretch out and then launched into the first interval. So hard. Legs were sore, tired. Knee was grumbling. I gritted my teeth and pushed through it wanting to put in the best effort I could muster but I already knew it wasn’t a consistent pace for the rep. The 2min easy recovery was a walk before trying the second rep. Halfway through I took a small pause to try and get my breathing and HR under control drawing a look of disapproval from a passer-by as I audible muttered FFS! I managed to get into the start of the third rep but called it early. Not perfect, not to plan, but the effort was there. I left hoping things would be different for the Parkrun on Saturday so I went into Sunday on a better note.

It wasn’t. I felt like shit the whole way round, it was a chore just keeping the forward momentum. I didn’t scan, I had no patience or will to work out how to get the barcode up on the watch without stopping the run and I had the extra little bit to go home yet to round up to 7k.

So Sunday was the Kingston Spring Raceday, for me it would be 16 miles. After the last few weeks and the last couple of days in general I was not looking forward to this. It was great seeing the small flock of Eagles at the start before joining the start pen. I headed to the back of the pack, behind the slowest pacer, just needed to get this 28k done.

Was it 28k? Is that what 16 miles equates to? Doesn’t sound right. That thought pretty much filled my mind for the first 5k of the run, my mind incapable of doing the maths. This took my mind off how I was generally feeling and by the time I got back to Kingston to start the second lap I was surprised at how good my breathing and HR felt. My knee was wrapped in a new compression sleeve and was perfectly happy being cuddled by this the whole way round. Gels were spot on, water station technique worked well. It dawned on me as I passed the pacer group that I was actually enjoying this! I relaxed into it fixed my form and trotted on.

I saw a lot of the Eagles I had seen at the start on this lap because of the out and back loop for those running the 20 miles and as I jogged into the finish I saw Sada at the side taking photos with her phone. Squeezed between a reversing ambulance and the barriers I raised my arms to wave, I’d actually enjoyed this run, and in doing so almost took the head off a screaming Serpie runner who was sprinting in to the finish line.

This race has ended up boosting my confidence ahead of the big day. I look back at the ‘crappy’ few weeks, the tough runs, the failed reps and realise they aren’t fails, they are all part of building towards something bigger. The effort is there, the desire is there and determination to get this done certainly seems to be. I go back and read my own blogs, check the graphs on Training Peaks and Strava, and I can see all of these are little wins on the road to London. Sometimes I just need to step back to see that.

The Fight Against Fatigue

Craig Batterham writes of his training ending 12 March

This marathon training is easy! It’s no more taxing than what I had been doing before for fun. A bit more targeted, but nothing like what I had expected. Until these last few weeks!

Cumulative fatigue is starting to catch up with me, the weekly mileage has been creeping up and the interval sessions longer or more intense. It’s not just the running, at work I have a particular project causing unnecessary stress and work which has caused some over thinking in those quiet moments when my mind has nothing else to do. The cherry on top of this is having to manage my Type 2 Diabetes and the spikes in blood sugar that are being bought on by pre run fuelling and the gels on long runs. Although it’s in remission it still takes management to maintain an acceptable overall average. It’s not just physical fatigue I am going through right now, it’s the mental kind as well.

I’m learning more about myself training for this marathon than I considered I would. Ive taken a DILLIGAF approach to the project at work that’s been causing the stress. Ultimately there is nothing I can do to influence the individuals at the root of the problems so I am clear in what I need to achieve, work towards that and let others resolve the mess they have created. The management of the diabetes has been easy enough, just stepping back into a routine I used to put it into remission when I was first diagnosed, there are still dietary issues I need to resolve and some bad habits that crept back over the last year that need to be put to bed, but it’s a work in progress.

The physical fatigue is getting more real in these weeks of the longest long runs. The last 32km run wasn’t something I was looking forward to after a bad long run attempt the previous weekend and an on/off week in between which wasn’t helped by mistakenly making a large fully caffeinated coffee instead of a decaf right before bed and losing a whole nights sleep when I gave up trying to drift off around half two.

I made a choice to travel out somewhere and run home from there. If I stuck to the river then it’d be fairly flat so it would be as easy as I could make it. I did not want to be failing at a long run a second week in a row. I checked the distances on the route planning but of Strava an it happed that I could run from my old flat in Canary Wharf back home. I decided to decrease the intervals I was using between gels down to 30 minutes from 45 to see what difference that made, I finished off the Imodium and took some of the prescription anti-inflammatory medication the doctor had prescribed me for just this sort of situation to manage the OA in the knee. Traveling out to Canary Wharf on the tube all the old pains and niggles were nagging away, when I got to the other end I was full of doubt. One kilometre at a time, that’s what I told myself.

My legs hurt, my knee hurt, my lungs hurt, my heart hurt. I was waiting for that magical 1 mile to be over and my body understanding this is what we are doing now. The tall buildings of Canary Wharf screwed the GPS on the watch telling me my average pace was 3.45/km! I wasn’t. The watch kept pausing and starting all the way round the outside of the Isle of Dogs and the pace notifications were all over the place. I figured I wouldn’t be able to rely on this metric and was going to have to run by feel, which right about then wasn’t great.

In fact it felt tough for the whole loop around the peninsula and it must have been around 6-7 kilometres in before I realised all those little voices had subsided. Checking in with myself my cardio system reported all ok, it actually felt easy. Legs, in pieces still. They were tired from the weeks previous runs but not at a point I wanted to throw in the towel so I split out the next sections in my mind. Get to The Bunch of Grapes, Wapping Overground, The Alderman Stairs, Tower Bridge. Was this half way? Nope, just passed 11km. Forcing my way through a huge herd of students milling around More London I started counting off the bridges, London, Southwark, Waterloo… Heading along Lambeth I crossed the halfway point. Cardio? Still excellent, like I was out for a stroll. Legs? Pleading with me to stop for a bit. I’m counting down now, let’s see how long I can ignore them.

I was in to ticking off parks now, Battersea came and went and it didn’t feel like too long before I got to Wandsworth. Somewhere around here the Oxford men’s rowing team were out getting ready to head out on the river. Running through a group of them in their blue outfits and wellies I felt totally inadequate. To a man they must have all been seven foot and built and I felt so small in that crowd.

Still very much running by feel I’d noted a couple of times it had felt a little harder, my watch confirmed my HR was a little above where I’d want it so check the form, straightened up, controlled my breathing and imagined what easy would feel like. Sure enough I was soon back in the groove and the HR was back under control. Just a Parkrun to go!

It was a tough finish. In retrospect I think my mind finished before my body, I need to learn to run through the finish in my mind, not just up to it. At the end I was so happy it was over but even happier I had managed it on legs that felt so fatigued. I’m trusting that the fresh legs you hear about after the taper is true, it will all be so much easier on the day if it is. I’d just ticked off my longest nonstop run and my confidence had just got a big boost. I’ve heard it said that the 32km mark is halfway in a marathon and I can believe it, if there had been 10km tacked on the end of that run it’d have been a struggle at best. I’ve got five weeks of training left though, two more of the longer long runs, if I’m here now feeling like this then I’ve surely got this.

After a bad week of running for me, with plans going out the window and stomach issues, I had completed one of my toughest runs so far and boosted my confidence.

I’m still knackered though.

States of Mind and Matter

Craig Batterham writes about his long run on 5 March

A recent long run was abandoned a little before the 4k mark after my stomach started cramping up and, based on recent events, I couldn’t be certain if this was going to be a gas, liquid or solid. There were still 24k ahead of me and the plan was to get out to Teddington and back. A decent distance away from home and I didn’t have my cash cards on me to get me back in a rush if it was needed. So I made the decision to turn around and gingerly walk the 4k back home. This gave me a long time to consider my options, I did not want to cut a long run out of the plan. I could save it, find a way to run the 28k as a commute from work on Monday which was what I originally settled on. I mulled over routes home from work, how light/dark it would be, my motivation after being at work all day. Considered the possibilities and consequences all the way home during that walk. If I moved the long run to Monday wouldn’t that screw the intervals planned for the Tuesday? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Shops were open when I got back to Chiswick & Acton so grabbed some Imodium, there was one option I had considered that was starting to make the most sense. Get back out later in the day and finish the run. So I smashed half a pack of the weird tiny bowls of compressed powder and gave it a few hours. I decided I would run laps of the long club run route to keep me close to home and take my cards with me so I could hop a bus if needs be. I had in mind to go out again for midday but I languished in an internal mental battle for almost two hours! I was kitted up and ready to go but I couldn’t get myself out the door. Somehow, and I have no idea how, I opened the door and headed towards Acton Town station where this second attempt would start. I promised myself we would take it a lap at a time and, if I got to the Shell garage on the corner of Popes Lane and it wasn’t going well I would call it there.

The first 2k were a real struggle, my heart rate didn’t feel like it would settle, my breathing felt ragged, my legs like lead. Turned out to be exactly how the first 2k always feels for me but so much more magnified by my focus on them. Unbidden, my mind was throwing all sorts of excuses out there to not run, go home, rest up. Each one had to be batted away until I got to the bottom of Northfields and started up that hill. Powering up that hill took all my doubt away and there must have been the starting a of a grin as I realise how much I enjoyed a (small) hill. In all I managed around 22k which, even with the run in the morning, fell a little short of the target distance. The rest of the laps were a roller-coaster of negative and positive thoughts, real and imagined pains and a full gamut of emotions. Really happy with myself for getting it done but there is a little voice reminding me I failed at that long run that I am going to be in battle with on Sunday over a 32k distance.

The rest of the week’s training has been tough to start, hard to visualise running it well, worry about sticking to the plan or even enjoy it. But when I’m out there, once the body has realised this is the norm for the next hour or so, everything is different. The aches and pains of the day melt away, the negative thoughts and emotions quieten down and every now and then I realise I am smiling.

I have a couple of long runs left in the programme set out by Jenny and then I think I will be in the taper. I’m not sure, there is nothing set out after London Landmarks HM on the 2nd April which is fine. I don’t want/need to know right now. I’m happy running the mile I’m in.

Nothing is quite as sweet as the unexpected PB

Craig Batterham wrote on 1 March

December 19th 2021 was my first ever half marathon. Five months after starting the Couch 2 5k and the day after my birthday was a good target. I worked through the 5k, 10k and 21k apps and had the distance built up in time but not the experience or wisdom of races under my belt. I ended up Jeffing (walking bits) it for a time of 2:04:49

I was loving my racing then (not sure I’ve ever mentioned that) and had started booking so many up for the year ahead. I got it into my head to run one Half Marathon every month of 2022 so started searching them out online and signing up. I wanted to normalise the distance as I found that 21.1 number intimidating. Because of a flare up of OA in my knee in the summer there were a couple of months I didn’t run a HM but I still managed to run 16 of them between January and December, so I considered that a win. What I didn’t do though was get faster.

The first six months of running were the honeymoon period for sure. Every single race and any distance was a new PB and I thought this would just carry on, the more I ran the better I would get. My second HM in Farnborough was 2:05:41, my third in Brighton was 2:11:46 but was the first one I ran 100% of, thanks mostly to the crowds along the way cheering everyone on. The run into the finish felt fantastic. I enjoyed the experience so much I booked onto the next one as soon as I got the email telling me early bird deals were available. There was no way I would have got a PB there because of the hills and the strong headwinds along the seafront for the last 5k but I’d managed the whole distance without Jeffing, the rest of the year was only going to get better! 💪🏻

Wrong. I never came close to the time of that first HM the whole year with the Big Half coming in at 2:37:18 on my return from the knee issues I’d been having. Hackney was my slowest the whole year but that day was so hot there were queues at the water stations and I didn’t want to push after seeing so many people laid at the side of the road suffering from the heat. Then this year, after starting work with Jenny in the November I was back at Farnborough where I had targeted a PB attempt which turned out to be a swing and a miss.

So when Jenny said that Brighton could be a tempo run and not another easy I was happy. I’d enjoyed the race and atmosphere so much the year before I was looking forward to having fun running the course. I’d seen all the sights anyway from when I lived in Hove. 2022 had been a beautifully clear day with bright sunshine and chill temperatures but the wind from the east had been super strong. So with no real wind forecast for the day I was hopeful of getting a course PB and running under 02:11:46

For the 2022 race I had made the mistake of relying on trains to get me there and had faced rail replacement buses and delays not to mention having to get up super early, even for me. So this year I booked a hotel. The expense of that outweighed the stress I had felt previously, and I had a great night’s sleep after a ramen and some bang bang cauliflower and an early night. I felt good in the morning, ready for the run ahead. Being so close to the start allowed me to leave much closer to race time and avoid the queue for the toilet or the bag drop, just a short walk down to the seafront and straight into the starting pen.

They started releasing the waves and the parade of runners up to the start line moved forward. Crossing the timing mat the throng bounced down Madeira Drive with those chomping at the bit trying to weave in and out through any gap that opened up. I don’t get what benefits come from expending this much energy in the first few hundred meters, the runners would soon open up on the hill. So I tucked myself in behind a couple and paced them until we got to the base of the hill. Everyone hung a hard right and we headed out towards the marina. It’s this hill (and the chance of wind) that had caused me to discount a PB today but I was also looking forward to the most from the whole race. Did I ever mention I liked hills?

When I am running in a race like this I’ll look ahead and pick someone in the distance and adjust my pace slightly to catch them, doesn’t always work, sometimes they are going faster than I fancy on the day. If I start to feel like I am pushing a little too hard I’ll settle in behind someone and relax a little. Bring the breathing and heart rate back under control. When I was 3-4km in I checked the watch. My pace was too fast, this wasn’t going to be sustainable, I was going to blow up just like Farnborough. I felt great though so just went with it. This was a fun run, might as well enjoy it as best I can.

At the switch back everyone headed back down into Brighton and the 2hr pace group were close behind coming up the other side of the road. A run out to Victoria Gardens and back gave me another glimpse of the pace group. Were they closer? Turning onto Grand Junction Road and Kings Road the crowds had swelled and the energy they were giving off was palpable. This marked around half way, checked the watch, still too fast. I was going to blow up soon, I kept expecting a flood of people around me as the 2hr pace group passed. 10k left, I felt great! Keep going. If I struggle later at least I’ve had fun getting there.

The last switchback takes us up onto Hove seafront with a short climb up off the road. I remembered the force of the wind hitting me in the face at this point last year so was happy it was nothing more than a slight breeze this time. Just up ahead a dad was crossing the course with his young son who fell. Dragging the kid behind him and starting to run across the course they ended up in the path of a runner and everyone went down hard. I hope the runner was ok. Avoiding the pile up I had around 5k to go and still felt great so I just kept going still sure I was going to blow up sometime soon and the pace group behind me would swarm past.

As I got into the last kilometre I checked the time on the watch. Even if I slowed right down now I’d beat last years time, if I stuck to the pace I was going to get a new PB. Something would have to go very wrong to screw that up now. I mentally checked in with my body and,head down, picked up the speed, I was so surprised at how this race had gone and wanted to finish as strong as I could and get as good a PB as possible. When I looked up the finish was a few hundred meters away, checked the watch and saw I was at 1:57ish. Somehow a sub 2hr was possible!

I needed to sprint the finish and I could achieve something I’d been after for over a year now. I knew this, I’d trained for this, I’d given this exact situation and the reason behind some of the interval sessions I’d led at track. I poured all that training, all that coaching, all that experience, into my legs and ran like a madman for the finish. I checked the watch straight after crossing the line, 01:59:30!

I could not stop smiling as I walked through the finish funnel to collect the foil blanket, medal and goodie bag.

Reflections

Craig Batterham writes:

I usually write my blogs on the tube into work in the mornings and have 2-3 on the go at any time but was struggling to come up with content that I could send in to be published on the web site but recent events and a catch-up with coach Jenny provided just the inspiration I need and want to take this time to reflect a little.

I didn’t know Rob, I only met him once under a shop awning in Kingston on a very wet morning just before the half marathon there, so his passing hasn’t had the same personal impact on me but I can clearly see what he meant to some of the other Eagles that did have the pleasure knowing him better. I did know the British tourist who made the papers last week who died after a high speed skiing accident and it is events like these that make me realise how lucky I am to be able to run, to be able to train for something like the London Marathon, be part of a group of people like the Eagles. I look back at years that have gone before, the two times I have been close to the end myself and the things I would have done differently had I known then what I know now. Foremost among those is running, something that I wish I had found earlier when I was younger and fitter.

Tonight I had a call with Jenny to catch up on how the training was going, to feed back on the recent races and look at the short, medium and long term goals ahead. It’n now seven weeks into the marathon training and around three months since I started working with Jenny to achieve my goals and the change is quite clear. The metrics from Training Peaks show a clear and steady improvement over the same period even if it sometimes doesn’t feel this way when I’m actually out doing the running bit. I’m seeing it in the times I am running as well. Although Farnborough was a bust for me for a number of different reasons my time was still very close to the previous year. A 5k run around the Velopark, a looping mile track with short sharp hills in it, produced a time very close to my PB, and the London Winter Run was the same, a mere 21 seconds away from a PB. Both of these were run as a hard effort for fun with no target in mind and very little, if any, checking of the watch. I wasn’t chasing a new PB. They are coming though, I can feel it. After a year of frustration these noticeable improvements are a fantastic boost yet I still worry I am forgetting how to run at a faster pace when I am out on an easy run. “Trust the training” is on repeat in my head right now.

We also discussed pacing for the marathon and if I’d had any thoughts on it. I’ve had a lot of thoughts on it ever since I learnt what GMP meant in the Strava posts of other Eagles I keep seeing pop up in the more recent weeks. I’ve used the quiet time on the long runs to mull over questions like this in my head and had made that choice a long time ago, but this was the first time Jenny and I spoke about it. Last April I ran (bit of an over-exaggeration 😳) the Manchester Marathon just ten months after starting the Couch to 5k and a history of never having run before. My preparation and training were poor and there were a few weeks off in the middle of the training plan due to an (I suspect) imagined injury. It wasn’t fun.

You can see where it all fell apart for me in the plot (above). I’d gone into the race all wrong, I was not physically or mentally ready for this and the last few miles were so hard. The only thing I have done in the past that was tougher is dragging myself over the big rocks to get onto the crater rim of Kilimanjaro. I was choking back tears of relief as I walked through the finish funnel at Manchester and took the usual medal selfie on my way through the finish funnel.

So London can only have one goal for me and that’s to run 100% of the distance. Time is not a consideration for me in this race. Getting to the end and feeling good about it is my only target here, so we haven’t set a pace target just yet. That can wait for New York in November. Time enough to build a bigger base and work on speed in the summer months. Then it is on to Berlin ‘24 as the next major goal for me.

I’m a completely different person with my running now. I’m not looking at which race I can enter next or how many medals I can collect in the year. It’s quality over quantity now this year with the two marathons the only target races.

Feels weird.

It’s All Uphill From Here

Craig Batterham writes:

Do you include intervals training into you average week? Is track or Fartlek a regular occurrence for you? Do you run up a hill only to reach the top, run back down and then back up it again far too often?

If you have a target race coming up or just looking to generally improve your strength and form then you should be including one or both of these in your schedule. These sessions are most certainly Type 2 Fun, feels great when you’ve finished but tough during the session. They are there to push us, extend our abilities and comfort zones and help us grow by small increments. As with all running, consistency is key. Make them a regular part of your training and you will see the benefits over time. You will get your PBs, feel stronger on your longer slow or tempo runs and grow confidence in your running ability.

The club run three sessions almost every week of the year pausing only for public holidays and the odd pandemic. During the darker winter months the evening interval training is held at Osterley track which is well lit and hired out for our exclusive use so the individual cost to club members is subsidised. In the brighter, warmer, months these intervals move to Lammas Park which is hugely popular among club members with some of the biggest groups I have seen at a coach led event. Hills training is centred around West Walk in the dark evenings because of the street lights and lack of cars, although you do need to keep an eye out for electric bikes and scooters. Once the seasons change and we don’t need the street lighting anymore the hills training goes on a tour around the parks of Ealing to make use of different hills and provide some different scenery. Then there are the daytime sessions on Mondays at 10am which mix up the locations and types of training available so you need to keep your eye on the Facebook group to see what’s coming up.

All of these sessions are coach led by one of licensed leaders or coaches the club has. These individuals have given up their time to sit the courses, pass the exam, complete a video or in person assessment, ideally be first aid trained and have a DBS check. Make use of this resource if you can, going along to these sessions will only help improve your running and gives you that extra bit of motivation to get out the door and get it done.

So, that’s the sales pitch out the way (not that it’s really needed seeing the recent numbers at these sessions) how do I apply this in my current training plan and have I seen a measurable difference? 

Jenny sets my intervals and hills in Training Peaks now and I purposely asked for them to be on different days to when the Eagles run their sessions for two reasons. When I joined track and ran my own session I was distracted by everyone else running and lost focus on the paces I should be hitting so prefer to go when it’s very quiet or even empty, and the other is that it leaves my diary free on those days to lead the session. These set sessions by Jenny have been much more varied than what I was likely to have come up with myself with fartlek sessions of varying durations or distances, some shorter 400 or 800 meter reps and those 1k and 1 mile reps which I tend to take to a park to run. Hills are harder to vary I guess, run up - run down. Change the duration of the reps and the rest and the angle of the hill is really the limit but Jenny is still able to set sessions that are varied enough that I don’t feel like I am repeating myself on the same old slog. I actually look forward to the hills session! 🤪

 Can I see a difference? Yes, a very clear difference. In a previous blog I wrote about a 5k PB attempt I made and missed. It was at Battersea in December, known as a flat, fast course. I ran that in 26 minutes, the fastest I’d run 5k all year but still a swing and a miss. This last weekend I ran the 5k around the Velopark, three laps of a 1 mile twisty loop with some short sharp hills that test the leg strength and provide very little recovery on the downhill. I just went out to run it comfortably hard with no goals or targets, it’s not the course for a PB. I really enjoy this course because of the hills. With hills having been a consistent part of my running over the last year I am able to maintain good cadence and pace. It’s one of the few places in a race where I can overtake others easily. Only to get passed on the down hill! 

I didn’t check the watch at all, no need, I wasn’t trying to hit a pace. I was just having a bit of fun. The timing chip didn’t work so I don’t have an accurate time but after I’d finished I checked my time and Garmin reckons it was 25:32 and the clock in the photo of me crossing the line has 25:59 on it so it’s somewhere in between I think. Not a personal best but certainly a course best by over a minute and the best run on any course in 13 months.

 I think I can safely say that the intervals and hills training is working. 😁

Time To Talk Training

Craig Batterham writes:

I’m a few weeks in and a few blogs down and realise I haven’t said very much about the actual training I’m doing. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, London is really only the first in my target to run all the majors, so as a minimum this is a three year journey if I can manage to run one every spring and autumn. It was the fact that this was a very long term plan that was one of the main drivers for me to look at 1-2-1 coaching with Jenny Bushell. I’d heard a lot of personal recommendations from other Eagles who had worked with her and met with success. There was also the small matter of those races I had already booked and some of the targets I had around Christmas and New Year where the plan would need to be adaptable and I doubted my own ability to manage that process. For sure joining a coach led group or following a plan from a book or website was not going to fit for me.

It was during a conversation one night on a recent club run with Steve Santos, who is also training for London, comparing our different plans it dawned on me that I actually find not knowing what I am going to be doing weeks or months in advance much less daunting, and having the different sessions communicated in small blocks on Training Peaks makes them more digestible, to a point where I am now just looking at what’s coming in the next 3-4 days. I know long runs are coming, I have booked onto the Kingston Spring Raceday 16 and the Richmond Riverside 20 and I’m sure I will see a lot of Eagles at both of them. For now though I just need to focus on the upcoming few days. As I write this I know what coming for the next three days but after that I’ve not really checked, and I like it that way.

Strength and conditioning has become a regular part of the weekly training but, for now, I’m not going to include anything about it here.

So I’m three weeks in, what have the training looked like so far? Almost all of the runs have been at an easy pace. A pace where I can hold a conversation using whole sentences, my breathing isn’t laboured at all and I feel like I could run forever. This is the pace that was the hardest for me to realise. The early days of running there was really one pace, forward. If that involves being in a race with other people it was as fast as the person in front if I could keep up. Right at the start my only real pace was as fast as my legs and lungs could take me. Then running so many races I learnt the difference between my 5k and 10k paces, eventually my HM pace. But finding that slow easy pace was hard, holding back, actively slowing down. That took a long time understanding what it felt like. This is helping me build aerobic fitness and stamina, my ability to go further for longer which will certainly come in useful for London.So this makes up the majority of my training right now, even at the Runthrough races I am so fond of. Slow and steady gets the flapjack.

Every Monday is club run, something I wanted to get Jenny to work into the plan all the way through. Two choices of distance with the added options of running to or from the meeting point for extra distance, all at the easy pace. Then there are the hills and interval sessions which a quite varied at the moment and some which have felt quite light so we have agreed to increase the load of some of these a bit for future sessions. Hills have been done at West Walk so far, sometimes joining the Eagles with others run solo. The intervals are either run at Osterley track if they are 800 or less but some laps of a park if the reps are 1k or more. It’s also been the first time I have tried fartlek and must say that has been the sessions I have enjoyed the most, especially when the track is empty and it’s just me and the wind. Unless that wind is strong, then the home straight becomes a real battle.

Then I guess there should be long runs, but right now they aren’t that long. The first week was my 10k race with a little warm up. Week two was a 16k run out to Hammersmith along the river which I cut a little short when I got to a coffee stop close to home and the coffee was far more enticing that running local laps or zig zagging around the local area to make up the distance. To cap off week three I ran the Farnborough Half Marathon, my second time running the event. I signed up last year as the first in my plan to run one HM every month of ‘22 and it’s where I set my PB so the plan this time was to break that and run a sub-2 half for the first time. This didn’t happen. At mile nine I just hit a wall, I’d been keeping pace with the sun-2 pack the whole way but there came a point where I just ran out of steam. I don’t think I had been taking on enough fuel along the way. I was using Tailwind in the water I was carrying and even while I was running I was having doubts about if I was sipping it often enough.

The biggest thing, in the literal and metaphorical sense, that’s wrong with my running and races at the moment is diet. That’s not in a good place at the moment and will form a whole other blog. For this race though I’m around 8kg heavier than the last time I ran it and this needs a lot more focus from me now.

So, all my A races have been and gone. Jenny did a great job of working these into my plan but now there is only one focus.

London.

Best of Enemies

Craig Batterham writes:

It took me a while to realise that most of the time the hardest bit of this running lark is the internal mental struggles. I’m sure I’m not the only runner in existence who has all sorts of thoughts, both positive and negative, invading the brain uninvited. I rarely hear anyone talk about this side of running though, whilst there is a lot said about how physically tough a run or a race was.

Sunday 8th January was lined up to be a PB attempt on the 10k distance on a Runthrough race at Victoria Park. A nice flat wide course with good potential. If you’ve not run this course it is on a par with Battersea Park for fast courses. My PB was 54:12 set in December of 2021, injuries, niggles and losing some of the mental battles during 2022 meant I drifted a long way from that and stopped getting faster. I needed to set some goals for myself so I lined up a 5k attempt for December at Battersea, this 10k at Victoria Park and a HM attempt for the middle of January in Farnborough.

This time round though I missed beating my goal by just a few seconds. Not too bad, getting close is rewarding in its own way, knowing it is within reach. However, I lost this one at the 5k mark and you can see that easily from the pace chart from Workout Analysis on Strava.

I’m a big fan of negative splits, personally it allows me to settle into the race or run, work my way through the pack and work towards something I can comfortably build on as the race progresses, kilometres 1-3 show this perfectly. The fourth was a slight up-hill into a strong head wind which is where the slight drop off there came from. The next kilometre was all flat and straight on a wide avenue with plenty of passing space if I needed to. This is where I lost the mental battle.

There were so many little demons whispering in my ear as kilometre 6 hit it was difficult not to listen to them. My average pace was off what was needed to hit the goal, even though I knew it was coming down because of the negative splits. I had also chosen today to wear the Vaporflys I had got in the January sales and the mantra “nothing new on race day” was stuck on repeat. My diet the days leading up to the race had been far from perfect. I’d forgotten to bring along any caffeine bullets, gels or any form of fuel so I was running this on a small porridge I had eaten four hours before the race began and then there was the new niggle.

Almost as if it had been ordered to start the year off perfectly I developed plantar fasciitis around the heel of my left foot. Very painful first thing in the morning but not yet painful enough to stop me training or racing. The dull ache that it becomes when I am running popped up to the front of my mind and, combined with everything else hitting at the same time I made a choice to ease up a bit. I wasn’t going to hit my goal, there was no need to push anymore, I should just sit back and enjoy the run. So I backed off, I slowed a little more each kilometre. All those little voices of doubt immediately vanished and I counted down the distance as I passed the markers on the side of the course with a smile on my face, it’s was a lovely morning for a run. 

‘Four kilometres to go, less than a Parkrun.’ ‘Three kilometres to go, last up hill but done.’ ‘Two to go, last turn on to the home straight.’ As I get the the marker brightly displaying 9km I check my watch. There was a lot more time left than I had expected! Was something wrong, was the marker placed wrong? Checked the watch again, nope it said the same. I was so close, how did this happen?!?

I pushed that last thousand meters, I didn’t have enough time to break my PB but I could get close and I had to try. I eased the pace up over the distance and used other runners to help pull me along, running imaginary races with them in my own head. Overtaking where I could, fighting off those that were trying to pass me. The last few hundred meters came up and I put in as much speed as I had down the path and onto the slippery mud trying my best to keep ahead of the breathing I could hear over my shoulder. 

The chip time was 54:49, so close and well within reach if I hadn’t let my doubts get the better of me. After I’d collected the medal, goodies and flapjack I did my brief assessment and notes on Training Peaks for Jenny to see whilst it was still fresh in my mind, you can see I already knew where it had all fallen apart.

These thoughts and feelings are always there, on race day, interval training, club run, long run. Doesn’t matter. When I am on the way to a run or at the start my body is telling me all the little bits that hurt and my mind uses this to find excuses not to be there, not to run. Surrounded by other runners at the start of races that are all seemingly younger and fitter than me I will start to feel inadequate and doubt my ability to even complete the distance regardless of it being a 5k or HM. That first mile is always hard, less so after a warm up, but it really does take around a mile to settle into a race or run for me. All of this noise is there constantly nagging away.

This is one of the reasons I have raced so much, put myself in those difficult positions, constantly knocked those demons back, practiced the little tricks I have read about in those running books to see if they work for me and use the ones that do for the bigger events. The ‘A’ races. It has also been excellent practice for race registration, bag drop, checking the right stuff is in my bag for the race, what to eat before and during, when to eat it and when I need to be thinking about braving the porta-loo. 

Running is actually the easiest part!

The Best Laid Plans

Craig Batterham writes:

It’s that time of year when you see a runner out on the streets and in the parks and know exactly where they are working towards in the spring. If it’s not London then it’ll be another 26.2 miles somewhere. By the time this is published some people will be five weeks into their plan, some three weeks, for me I guess it’s one week. I’ve met and talked to a number of runners now at the beginning of their plans and done the comparisons that we all do, trying to assess if the

one they are on is better or worse. The first few weeks of my plan landed in Training Peaks from Jennyand I am very happy with it considering some of the additional goals I have set and the request to try to keep Monday Club runs and as many Runthrough races in there as possible. 

When I started working with Jenny last year it was a three year cycle in my head and London was going to be the first because that’s where it fitted best into my plans. The only other choices for a spring marathon for me were Tokyo or Boston. Neither of those are going to happen in 2023 for me. To help make Jenny’s coaching a little harder I also wanted to make

some PB attempts at three different distances in December and January that would be roughly 12 months after setting each one previously. The 5k attempt was just before Christmas in Battersea and I came very close but didn’t get the cigar (had to settle for a flapjack instead). It was a year’s best though so still managed to finish on a high. There was another Eagle there that night who smashed their PB with a sub-20 5k, fantastic work Vic! Awesome work.

The 10k attempt was this weekend in Victoria Park. Last January I set a time of 54:16, narrowly missing my PB by four seconds. For the rest of last year I only really managed to get slightly injured and progressively slower. This Sunday was my chance to have a go at beating my times before I become fully focused on the marathon. But that wasn’t to be the case. I finished with a time of 54:49. There are so many reasons why I didn’t make it but it really just boils down to losing the mental battle somewhere around the 5k mark and you can see this if you look at my pacing on Strava which had been a series of negative splits up to that point. I don’t want to go into this here, I really want to do another post that focuses on the mental strength side of running in the near  future.

There is one more race to go before the only thing on the road ahead of me is marathon training, a half marathon around Farnborough. Billed as the first HM of the year and starting below the skeletal remains of an old airship hanger it is where I first wore the Eagles shirt in a race and because of that met Dick Overton. Back then things had been going great but turned out to be the crest of the new runner wave I was riding. I picked up a niggle in the hip which slowed me around 16k into the run and I lost the pace group I’d been tailing all the way through. Because of how ‘22 turned out Farnborough still ended up as my PB for the year so that’s why I’m heading back there.

Something totally different that’s slowly becoming part of my training is strength work in the gym. Still working on building that habit where it just becomes something I do without much thought, like running has become. It’s just what I do. I swapped from a membership at one of the cheap subscription gyms as they are always too busy for me in the day. It used to work back before I started running when I’d be in there at 4am. At that time of day it was me and one other, so no having to wait for kit to become available, much nicer. I took the plunge this year and decided if I was going to be serious about the goals over the next few years it needed a step change. So I’ve joined a health club and got myself a personal trainer to help devise sets of exercises that fit into the days where Jenny prescribed ‘Strength’ on Training Peaks. I’m trying to get at least one session of prehab exercises in with maybe a second session of picking stuff up and putting it down again. I should really find time to use their other stuff as well, I’m paying enough for it!

Volunteering with the Eagles

Craig Batterham writes:

Wednesday 28th December is a weird time of year. That no-man’s land between Christmas and New Year. Being away from London visiting the parents has let me just head into the countryside and forests of Dorset and Hampshire and just run for fun. It also gave me time to reflect on the last twelve  months with the club and my own volunteering.

It was at the Osterley Winter 10k earlier this month that an Eagle came up to me and told me that I shouldn’t volunteer so much, more out of concern it seemed than anything else. Then after finishing the race another Eagle commented that they saw me everywhere. At the Christmas party I was again told that I do too much and asked if I felt I was being supported enough 

To put it all in my own perspective, I try to volunteer at Monday’s club run alternating with Godfrey as Run Leader because it suits my other commitments and I enjoy the club runs. This is only two or three times a month and easy to do if I’m going to be there anyway. (Happy to step aside though if anyone else wants to jump up on the bench. ) Tail running seems to have more volunteers now but thankfully not quite enough so you will all continue to get my excellent jokes and stories on Facebook.

Standing on the bench and going to every track and hills sessions in the first four months in the club led me to look into getting my LiRF so I could give back to the club that had already given me so much by joining the coaching team. I started the course in the December of 2021 and qualified in the January or February of this year. Since then I have tried to lead at least two sessions each month.

So, an average month would see me volunteering four times. That doesn’t feel like too much to me, but everyone has different commitments and lives so I appreciate that this may seem like a lot to others.

There are so many other ways that you can get involved and volunteer with the Eagles than I do, Juniors; Beginners; Committee Member; Race Committee, Marshals.

The list goes on.

The volunteering I have done over the last twelve months allowed me to get 15 of the 18 point minimum I needed to qualify for the Marathon Ballot. So if you’ve got your eye on entering the ballot for next year then helping out with the club is a great way of doing it.

Training for London starts on Monday so we can go back to talking about the running then. 

You may know me from ...

Craig Batterham writes:

You may know me from….

…such things as Monday Club Runs, leading some track or hill sessions or more recently, posting most weeks on Facebook for volunteers for the club runs. Maybe you are one of the Eagles I have bumped into in the start pen of a race or at one of the Summer League or XC races I managed to get to this year. A quick check of Facebook tells me that there are 713 members, and this is after Babs and Nick having a bit of a clear out a few months back. So there are still a lot of unfamiliar faces I see in Eagles gear at races or at events that I don’t know. Hello to all of you.

I was given explicit instruction at the party to make these blogs interesting and not just ‘I ran this distance, then I ran that distance.’ I will do my best but I cannot promise you will be enthralled all the way up to April.

Let me start with how truly grateful I am that England didn’t equalise in the match against France and put me through having to patiently wait through extra time and penalties during the EE Christmas party. There was a little announcement due to be made that night that held a greater personal interest for me, would my name be drawn for one of the club spots at the London Marathon?

I had fallen just shy of getting the maximum points for the draw so it was still a surprise to me when I got the automatic place and I am very proud to be able to represent the club that has given me so much in the sixteen months since I joined. There have been so many people in the club that have helped and inspired me in numerous ways and I am sure they will get a mention in this blog somewhere along the road. If you think you could be one of those special individuals and your name is going to appear a bit further down then I am afraid today is not your day, this one’s all about me. I’m hoping future blogs touch on different topics and make them, as requested, interesting.

I’m writing this at the start of this particular journey, for me this is a 3 year plan to run all of the Abbot World Marathon Majors starting with London, qualifying for Boston along the way and, if everything goes to plan, culminating in Chicago in 2025. All because I want to add that medal to my collection and never have to run a marathon again. I’m going to say right now that I happily self identify as a magpie runner and love collecting the shiny things. I know that I would never be able to achieve all of this alone so I have signed up with Jenny Bushell for 1-2-1 coaching. At the very least this will give me someone else to blame if I miss my targets!

Seriously, we have already been working together for a good number of weeks now and I can see a consistent up-tick in the performance metrics on Training Peaks and feels great having someone else pick out the structure for the coming weeks, not having to worry my lazy ass too much about it. The marathon training doesn’t start until the 2nd January so isn’t up on TP yet so I’m looking forward to seeing what’s in store and working my way through it.

With the year drawing to a close with just a few runs left I am happy to be finishing on a high. This year has been tough with a couple of injuries, around nine weeks off running, an MRI and physio for the first time in my life and redundancy after the company I worked for went pop. I’m now settled in a new company with some exciting challenges and opportunities and in the last few weeks I have secured places in the London and New York Marathons for 2023 and signed up for another Ultra in the summer. Bring it on!